“I convinced myself winning meant getting out. But in what world do you get to leave the ring and declare victory? This is where I belong. In the fight. It’s who I am.”-Veronica Mars
Timely words that resonate so completely for me at this time in my life. The source is unexpected, a fictional woman who found herself in the death of her best friend. The veil of innocence was ripped from her life when she dared to hold accountable those that were responsible for their wrong doings. The person is made up but the sentiment is very, very real.
That’s right, I’m here to stay. No one tells me to get out or to leave, I’m fighting and I intend to win.
“We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.” -Helen Keller
This brilliant soul also said that “at first I only knew darkness and stillness that my life was without past or future”. Then something wonderful happened; someone gave her a gift, the gift of words spoken and they literally reverberated through her very soul; awakening in her an insatiable zest for learning and creating that’s still very potent. Her life and success is an inspiration and an example, a recipe if you will, of how to make the most out of this cruel and beautiful life with the tools you’ve been given.
Staring at my blank page I look at it and imagine some undiscovered musical score keeping time with an impatient cursor, rushing me and begging me to fill it, to give it body. I want to give the world the humble gift of my words even if no one else reads them they’re now a part of the universe. I wish to place my heart on paper with every crack and blemish smashed burnished and unmistakable. For every word I didn’t say at the moments when they could have been voiced, there will be a requiem taking with them the rejection, denial and hurt; so that both they and I can have peace.